Long time ago,
in a boring Philosophy class far, far away...
PHILOSOPHY
CHEATER
Episode I:
The whispering partner
Lola Villar,
also known as the “Mindwrecker”, has just gave the Philosophy
test to their first of Bachillerato B stundents. A multiple choice
Philosophy exam that represents the 80% of the first term's final
mark of 37 students. One of these students is our young cheater.
However, he doesn't know he's a cheater yet. He is nervous as he
knows that if he has a wrong answer, he will lose 0,5 points. 90
minutes later, he has given up after doing his best, and gives his
exam to the Mindwrecker, hoping he'll pass.
A week later, he
is given his mark. He's twice surprised. Not only he has failed, but
he has got the lowest mark: -0,5 out of 10
Two weeks later,
Christmas holidays starts, and during the sixteen days it lasts, he
does nothing but study Philosophy.
And
now, January
the tenth, 2012, he is
facing the Mindwrecker and her multiple choice test again, a retake
exam that he has been sixteen days studying for. Nevertheless, the
Mindwrecker is wining again. The bell has rung and he has only
answered four questions, four questions that he's sure they are
correct, but he needs one correct answer more to pass it. “It seems
that it is over”, he thinkts when some people are standing up and
giving the exam to her, but suddenly, his luck changes. He realises
that the people are making a “visual barrier” between him and the
Mindwrecker, and he sees the chance
to ask his parter, who had passed the first exam and is
trying to get a better mark by doing the retake one, the answer of
one of the questions. “It's option A”, he answers whispering.
“Thanks”,
he's replied by our young cheater. Then, he gives his exam to the
Mindwrecker and by having a quick look, she tells him his s knew
mark: 5 out of 10. He has passed.
He
has passed by cheating. He has cheated. He's a cheater. And he likes
it.
Episode
II: The magic chair
The
Mindwrecker is testing our cheater and his partners again ta the end
of the second term, but this time she hasn't used multiple choice
exam to do it, because this time she was testing their logic.
Logic
is an essential part of Maths, and as Maths is supposed to come from
Philosophy, it's also an important part of it.
During
the full second term, she has been teaching them logic formulas at
the same time she wrecked their minds with long converting formulas
exercises.
However,
our cheater doesn't know why, but this time he does understand what
the she's teaching them, so he's prepared for the exam, at least,
more prepare than he was in the last term.
He
knows all the logic formulas, but some
of them are confusing and can be mixed up. He doesn't know how to
remember them during the exam, his handwriting is too big to write
them on and “informative” sheet, and it's spring so he can't
write them on his arm as he has no long sleeves to hide them. The
Mindwrecker will come back at any moment with the exam copies and he
hasn't figured out where should he put them. He looks to the table,
thinking that being in the first row it's too risky to write them on
it, and the he looks down to his trousers, wondering why pen ink
cannot be erased for them... when he finds the perfect place to put
them: his chair. The curved part is big and long enough for him to
write the confusing formulas even with his big handwriting, he won't
attract the Mindwrecker's attention if he looks down and his legs and
the table will conceal them all the time.
He
then proceeds to write confusing formulas (and other not so
confusing) on his chair, his “know-all” magic chair, and he had
long finished before the Mindwrecker was back. He's given the exam,
finishes it an hour later and gives it to the teacher.
A
week later he knows that he had an 8 out of 10. Thanks God he had
written the confusing formulas on his chair, there was a full
question about them.
Episode
III: The magic chair strikes back
Our
young cheater is now confronting among his partners his final proof:
the third term's final exam. The last philosophy exam of the year, at
least if he pass it.
This
time, the main topic was psychoanalysis, and to examine their
students, the Mindwrecker told them that she would show them a video
and they had to psychoanalyse their content.
The
psychoanalyse it is not really very difficult, most of the signs have
a sexual meaning. The problem is knowing what does that sign mean and
what connection has with the other elements, and that's confusing,
and again, our cheater didn't want to confuse them, so he needed an
“informative” sheet again, and this time he knew what the sheet
was going to be: the magic chair.
He
knew which chair was his “know-all” chair, as the cleaners,
despite they are meant to clean, they didn't have time enough to
clean the chairs of the class in the last three months. That was what
our cheater thought when looking for it.
He
found it, and when the Mindwrecker arrived to the class and explain
some basic rules about the exam, he had already finished actualizing
his magic chair.
Now
he is doing the exam, and psychoanalysing the video, a video showing
the tale of Icarus, and his doing pretty good. He knows almost all
the secret meanings of the signs, and the ones he can't remember, he
consults chair
to know what they could mean.
The
bells rings, and he gives his exam to her, the Mindwrecker, who gave
his mark to him a week later. He had 6,5 out of 10, and his final
mark, the one which represented the media of al the year, as an 8 out
of 10.
He
had done. He has passed Philosophy. And with
a very good mark.
-Socrates
said “I know that I know nothing”, but I say “I know that I
know cheating”,- he thought while exiting the class.
